Explaining Fostering to Friends and Family

Start with the basics. Many people have misconceptions about fostering — they may confuse it with adoption or think it’s only for full-time stay-at-home carers.

You might say:

“Fostering means opening our home to a child or young person who can’t live with their birth family right now. It’s about providing stability, emotional support, and care for however long they need — sometimes for a few days, sometimes longer.”

At Lika Family Fostering, foster carers are trained and supported to work therapeutically with children, often using models like PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) and systemic thinking. If your friends or relatives are unsure about what that means, you can explain that you’re not expected to “fix” a child’s past — but to build trust and offer safety, day by day, gives them privacy, security, and a sense of belonging — all essential to helping them settle and feel safe.

1. “Won’t you get too attached?”

Yes — and that’s a good thing. Children in care need people who are emotionally available and invested. You’re offering connection, not detachment.

2. “How will it affect your own children or relationship?”

Lika supports carers to balance family life through regular supervision, training, and honest conversations about roles, boundaries, and support strategies.

3. “Do you get paid?”

Yes — foster carers receive a weekly allowance and fee, which reflects the responsibility and skill involved. At Lika, carers are paid fairly and offered ongoing development opportunities. Like in any profession, you need to be able to be paid to take on the role you love.

4. “What if the child is difficult?”

Many children in care have experienced trauma, but with the right support, structure, and empathy, they can thrive. Carers are never alone — at Lika, there’s a team behind every child and every carer. People don’t choose fostering for an easy ride. If ease were the goal, there are other ways to connect with children that wouldn’t ask so much of you. Fostering asks more — and offers more in return.

Here are some ways to involve your loved ones and help them better understand your decision to foster:

Invite them into your journey – Share your reasons for fostering and what drew you to it. You might explain how Lika’s values around relationships, growth, and reflection resonated with you.

Recommend helpful resources – Suggest they read a short blog, listen to a podcast about fostering, or watch a documentary about children in care. It can open hearts and minds.

Encourage questions – Sometimes hesitation comes from fear of saying the wrong thing. Let them know it’s okay to ask questions — and that you don’t expect them to be experts.

Fostering is rewarding, but it can also be emotionally intense. That’s why your support network — including friends, family, and your fostering agency — is so vital.

At Lika Family Fostering, we often say that foster carers don’t do this alone. We offer:

• Regular reflective supervision
• Specialist training on trauma, attachment and therapeutic care
• Peer support networks where carers can share, debrief and connect
• 24/7 on-call support if things get tricky

Encourage your friends and family to be part of that network. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, babysitting for an hour, or showing up to celebrate milestones — every little bit of support matters.

You might find that not everyone gets it straight away. Some people will need time to adjust to the idea, especially if they’re unsure how fostering fits into your life.

That’s okay. You don’t need universal approval to make a positive difference. Focus on the people who do support you — and remember that you’re doing something incredibly meaningful.

Explaining fostering to friends and family doesn’t need to be daunting. Lead with honesty, warmth, and your belief in what you’re doing. Invite curiosity and questions. Share the impact that stable, loving care can have on a child’s life — and the ways Lika Family Fostering supports you every step of the way.

Whether you’re just starting out or have years of experience, fostering is not just something you do — it’s a way of showing up for children who need it most. And with the right support around you, both from your loved ones and your agency, you’re never doing it alone.

Lika is a therapeutic fostering agency, rated Outstanding by Ofsted. Every decision we take is based on Systemic Family Therapy principles. That means relationships, openness and honesty are at the heart of everything we do. All Lika foster carers receive extensive training in Systemic Family Therapy principles and therapeutic parenting techniques.

It’s similar to the training a newly qualified social worker receives (although not quite as technical) — so you’ll be fully prepared for your first placement and be viewed as a professional foster carer in your own right.

Being a Lika foster carer means always receiving specialised and consistent support from our expert team of professionals.

Your support will include:

• 1 to 4 weekly supervisions with your supervising social worker to talk through and understand the needs of your young person
• 24/7 out-of-hours access to one of the Lika team, so you’re never unsupported if things feel difficult
• Access to Lika’s team of skilled and knowledgeable Systemic Psychotherapist Consultants and Systemic Social Work Practitioners, who are never stuck for ideas on how to support
• Virtual monthly foster carers support meeting, led and chaired by experienced foster carers
• Virtual fortnightly Therapeutic Family Consultations, facilitated by one of our psychotherapists and open to all our agency’s foster carers
• Membership to the National Association of Therapeutic Parents and The Fostering Network
• Life coaching for foster children, birth children and foster carers
• Our Mentor Support Scheme, which partners new foster carers with more experienced foster carers
• Free training for fostering support networks. (Your family and friends are welcome to join any of the training Lika offers.)
• Access to Lika’s support workers, depending on the level of need for the young person
• Access to Lika’s Educational Consultant, who can offer ideas and advocacy in supporting young people to achieve in education
• Help from Lika’s Systemic Social Work Practitioners/Therapists, who can undertake skilled direct work without waiting lists for the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS)
• 14 to 21 days of paid respite (depending on complexity) to recharge your batteries and have some space for self-care.

If you’re in south or east London and you’re interested in becoming a foster carer, give the helpful team at Lika a call on 020 3370 0987. We’re here to answer all your questions.

We’re currently in: Barking and Dagenham, Barnet, Brent, Bexley, Bromley, Camden, City of London, Croydon, Greenwich, Hackney, Hammersmith and Fulham, Ealing, Haringey, Islington, Kensington and Chelsea, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Newham, Redbridge, Southwark, Sutton, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth, Westminster, Enfield, Harrow, Havering, Hillingdon, Kingston upon Thames, Richmond upon Thames, Waltham Forest, Harrow and Essex.