Supporting children with food issues in foster care

Common food-related behaviours include:

• Hoarding food: A child may feel compelled to store food, reflecting past experiences of scarcity.
• Overeating: Food can become a source of comfort for children coping with emotional distress.
• Picky eating: Limited exposure to a variety of foods or negative associations may cause reluctance to try new things.
• Lying about eating: Fear, shame, or mistrust might lead to dishonesty around food-related behaviours.

It’s important to remember that these behaviours are often survival strategies, rooted in the child’s attempt to make sense of their experiences and feel secure.

Traditional parenting often relies on positive and negative reinforcement, such as rewards or consequences, to encourage good behaviour. While effective for many children, these methods can backfire with children who have experienced trauma.

For example, scolding a child with food issues for hoarding food may trigger feelings of shame or fear, reinforcing negative behaviours rather than resolving them. Similarly, imposing strict consequences, like removing privileges, can worsen trust issues and heighten the child’s anxiety.

Children with trauma histories need a different approach—one that prioritizes safety, connection, and emotional healing over immediate compliance.

Therapeutic parenting is a trauma-informed approach designed to address the unique needs of children who have experienced adversity. One widely used framework within therapeutic parenting is P.A.C.E. – a model developed by psychologist Dan Hughes.

P.A.C.E stands for:

1. Playfulness: Engage the child in light-hearted, enjoyable activities to reduce anxiety and create positive associations. For example, turn mealtime into a fun experience by introducing a “taste test challenge” or creating playful food presentations.
2. Acceptance: Validate the child’s feelings without judgment. Let them know it’s okay to struggle with certain foods, and reassure them that you’re there to support them.
3. Curiosity: Show genuine interest in their experiences. Ask questions like, “What’s your favourite food and why?” or “What makes trying new foods hard for you?” This helps uncover underlying feelings and builds trust.
4. Empathy: Acknowledge their emotions and respond with compassion. For instance, you might say, “I can see that mealtimes feel tough for you. How can I help make this easier?”

By using P.A.C.E., foster carers can create a supportive environment where children feel safe enough to explore new behaviours and heal from past traumas.

1. Create a safe and consistent environment

Establishing predictable routines can help children feel secure. Set regular mealtimes and provide reassurance that food will always be available. Avoid forcing them to eat or pressuring them to try new foods.

2. Involve the child in food preparation

Cooking or baking together can transform mealtime into a bonding activity. Involvement in food preparation empowers children, builds confidence, and increases their willingness to try new foods.

3. Gradually introduce new foods

Introducing new foods slowly can help reduce anxiety. Pair unfamiliar foods with those the child already enjoys and celebrate small victories when they’re willing to try something new—even if it’s just a nibble.

4. Address emotional needs

Recognize that food-related behaviours are often expressions of unmet emotional needs. If a child hoards food, reassure them they don’t need to because food is always available in your home. Approach these behaviours with understanding, not frustration.

5. Seek professional guidance

Therapists, dietitians, and fostering specialists can provide tailored advice and strategies. Professional support can be invaluable in addressing both the emotional and practical aspects of food-related issues.

Undertake virtual training with Lika: Managing eating and food issues in fostering

Jude, a 12-year-old foster child, arrived at Sarah’s home with a history of neglect. His diet had consisted largely of cereal and sweets, and he struggled with healthy eating. Jude often lied about throwing food away, a behaviour linked to his mistrust and emotional discomfort around food.

Sarah used the P.A.C.E. approach to support Jude with his food issues:

• <li”>She introduced playfulness by creating a “taste test challenge” where they explored different fruits and vegetables together.

<li”>She validated Jude’s feelings by saying, “I understand trying new foods can be hard. What can we do together to make it easier?”

• She showed curiosity by asking, “What are your favourite foods, and why do you like them?”
• She demonstrated empathy, saying, “I can see this is tough for you, and I’m here to help.”

Over time, Jude began to feel safer around food and more willing to explore new options.

Building a healthier relationship with food is a gradual process, especially for children with trauma histories. Foster carers should approach this journey with patience, consistency, and a focus on emotional healing.

Remember, the goal isn’t just about changing what the child eats – it’s about fostering trust, creating positive experiences, and helping them feel safe and secure in your care.

By adopting therapeutic parenting strategies and seeking support when needed, foster carers can make a profound difference in a child’s life, helping them move toward a brighter, healthier future.

Lika is a therapeutic fostering agency, rated Outstanding by Ofsted. Every decision we take is based on Systemic Family Therapy principles. That means relationships, openness and honesty are at the heart of everything we do. All Lika foster carers receive extensive training in Systemic Family Therapy principles and therapeutic parenting techniques.

It’s similar to the training a newly qualified social worker receives (although not quite as technical) — so you’ll be fully prepared for your first placement and be viewed as a professional foster carer in your own right.

Being a Lika foster carer means always receiving specialised and consistent support from our expert team of professionals.

Your support will include:

• 1 to 4 weekly supervisions with your supervising social worker to talk through and understand the needs of your young person
• 24/7 out-of-hours access to one of the Lika team, so you’re never unsupported if things feel difficult
• Access to Lika’s team of skilled and knowledgeable Systemic Psychotherapist Consultants and Systemic Social Work Practitioners, who are never stuck for ideas on how to support
• Virtual monthly foster carers support meeting, led and chaired by experienced foster carers
• Virtual fortnightly Therapeutic Family Consultations, facilitated by one of our psychotherapists and open to all our agency’s foster carers
• Membership to the National Association of Therapeutic Parents and The Fostering Network
• Life coaching for foster children, birth children and foster carers
• Our Mentor Support Scheme, which partners new foster carers with more experienced foster carers
• Free training for fostering support networks. (Your family and friends are welcome to join any of the training Lika offers.)
• Access to Lika’s support workers, depending on the level of need for the young person
• Access to Lika’s Educational Consultant, who can offer ideas and advocacy in supporting young people to achieve in education
• Help from Lika’s Systemic Social Work Practitioners/Therapists, who can undertake skilled direct work without waiting lists for the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS)
• 14 to 21 days of paid respite (depending on complexity) to recharge your batteries and have some space for self-care.

If you’re in south or east London and you’re interested in becoming a foster carer, give the helpful team at Lika a call on 020 3370 0987. We’re here to answer all your questions.

We’re currently in: Barking and Dagenham, Barnet, Brent, Bexley, Bromley, Camden, City of London, Croydon, Greenwich, Hackney, Hammersmith and Fulham, Ealing, Haringey, Islington, Kensington and Chelsea, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Newham, Redbridge, Southwark, Sutton, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth, Westminster, Enfield, Harrow, Havering, Hillingdon, Kingston upon Thames, Richmond upon Thames, Waltham Forest, Harrow and Essex.